just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
