It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
