I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
