She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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