He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
