we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
It's rum buckets o'clock
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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