i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Randomize
