how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
