Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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