i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
