Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
