It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
