Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
