it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
