its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
