just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
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Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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