He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize