i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
