The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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