when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
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Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
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Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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