U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
