Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Randomize
