just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
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