Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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