I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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