Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Who did Billy Mays play for?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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