we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
He shit in the fireplace
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
