Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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