Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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