Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Randomize
