Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Randomize