why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
