Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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