you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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