How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Boobs are out for the taking
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
