THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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