so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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