I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Randomize