I molested 6 butterflies tonight
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Randomize
