ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
3pm strippers are depressing
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
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