I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize