Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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