Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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