the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
we made out on top of his cat.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
