Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
