Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
