Your dad touched me again.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
