I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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