Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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