I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
