did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
