goodnight i made you a song goodbye
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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