dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize