Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
