whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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