ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
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the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
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And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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