We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
